An Accidental Songwriter and Moors, Music and Meditation. A song writing catch up……

Summer has landed late this year in Scotland and I am making the most of every sun beam during my holidays from teaching and also being a college student. I was hoping, along side lots of gardening, to spend time practicing the piano and song writing. But, my digital piano- new to me- but rather old- has decided to break! One step forward and two back….

I realise I have not given an up date on my song writing journey for quite some time. In some ways there is nothing of evident concrete value to share: no releases, gigs or recording projects.

But, underneath the surface there are tendrils of hope and possibility forming.This last year has been busy for me in other ways too; a family member needing my care, a college course ( two years still to go – somewhat of a marathon ), my teaching business alongside a three quarter acre garden of food growing. But, my song writing journeying remains a constant aspiration even in times of mostly quiet development. To give it up would be like shutting off part of myself and becoming small and grey.

These tendrils may become or they may not. I have decided that to keep my spirit free and yet still excited about my songwriting that I should just unfurl into my ideas as far as they can with no clinging or attachment or expectation . This, really is the only way to continue when I have so many barriers and I travel this journey in my own unique, slightly solitary way.

Tendril one- The Kulning audio visual song project. A couple of years ago I got funding from Help Musicians to go to Sweden to learn the dying art of Kulning ( ancient folk cowherd singing done by women), with the express purpose of writing cross cultural songs. I have written two; Earth Calling song ( based on a Hopi prohecy) and Soul Calling song. I tried twice to get funding for just audio recording but was not successful. Then, in conversation with Xponorth, it was suggested that they would be most effective alongside a documentary and two music videos. The documentary would be about my journey in becoming a song writer against all the odds. They teamed me up with a film maker and together we have very slowly been putting together a pitch ( a synopsis of the songs and a biography of myself). The idea is to try and get funding/ sponsorship from appropriately minded businesses. by presenting them with this pitch. According to the media lady at XPOnorth this does actually happen !! So, the film maker and I are nearly there with this and then we will have to see if sponsorship manifests!

It is an interesting process doing this: it requires lots of detail and some video presenting on my part . Lot of enthusiasm, passionate clarity and raison d’être for my songs and my journey. But, holding it as lightly as a tiny feather for all this preparation may lead to something as substantial as a mirage in the mist.

Somehow these songs need to be born into the world…..they have deep relevance for our world right now, are musically experimental,artisitc and pioneering in their way. I also, morally feel, they need to get out there. I had funding to develop and create them, so it feels like the songs need completion by being made visible to the world.

After covid my band Karuna disbanded. The two musicians moved on and I was quite despairing. Finding good musicians who get my wacky songs and who are happy not really being paid is like pulling hens teeth. Add in the difficulty of finding them from a field in Scotland, then this is nigh on impossible.Two years have gone by and finally I have found two special souls! I have tried a few others which didn’t gel or work for other practical life reasons….. I have already tried one, Rayan a pianist and also a fiddle player. I went to to London for one weekend especially and met up with him at my step mum’s. He is half French and half Lebanese and has the soul of a totally poetic creative. We could have musically vibed all night together. We both found it a wonderful experience to improvise together.

Then, at the F list conference that I attended there in London, I got chatting to an equally sensitive beautiful soul , Sarah, who is a multi instrumentalist and is also somewhat bizarrely also half French and half Lebanese. She loved listening to what I have already created and we will try working all three of us together when I can manage to get enough funds to fly to London again. ( I am running a community music workshop over the summer so I hope this will be well attended as it will be my fare down, for the first week of October half term).

I think that the universe is also wanting me to practice my A level French! I hope the universe is also not expecting me to learn Lebanese ….this I think would be a push too far!!

There is also a wildly crazy gigging strand I am dreaming into and planning but this needs to be kept quiet until such time as this tendril is robust and planned enough to be given external attention. It is a wonderfully quirky and unique thing which will require huge planning and lots of gumption……watch this space!

And, I am slowly getting better at the piano….even more slowly now that my digital piano has broken and will cost £300 to mend!!

Snakes and ladders, something and nothing, dreaming and aspiring and occasionally actualising…..The song journey continues.