Sometimes life gives us an emblem, a symbol or archetype that can resonate with us on our journey and be hugely helpful. This was the case for me a few weeks ago and has proved to be a very useful metaphor for me over the ensuing weeks as many strands have come undone in my life. I was about to embark on an exciting and longed for project,( which went very well) far from home. This cameo moment has since morphed into a song.
So, before I left that February morning I went for a walk to gather myself in readiness for what was to come. It was an icy sunny late winter morning; a hoar frost touched the ground and plants, turning twigs and dried grass heads into winter diamonds of icy beauty. I walked through the trees to the pond which was half covered in a film of patterned shimmering ice and water. There in the middle of the pond was one solitary swan,( unusual to see a swan on her own), she sat in silent graceful equipoise with balance and sovereignty wrapped royally around her wings. I stopped, spellbound by this nature’s gift to me on this momentous morning. We looked at each other, neither moving and then my dog leapt noisily through the trees with the hubristic idea of catching Swan for breakfast! The, she unfurled her wings and with all her elegant tensile strength took off from her bed of watery patterned ice to flap with lazy, empty sounding wings out and beyond…..
I decided the shamanic symbol of this beautiful creature was given to me by Life, for me to dream into her qualities of dignity, quiet grace, strength, queenly in her isolation. These qualities have, as it turned out ,have very been the very ones I need as life has unravelled. and thrown endings and question marks and vulnerable making moments my way.
So, here is my shamanic “Swan” song which I have been singing as I feel and attempt to take on some of her archetypal qualities as I travel, in some ways, on my own….. It has an elegiac slightly archaic melody which calls for angular icy accompaniment and sound design.
Swan
V1
I am swan
Alone on a lake of winter ice
No friend or flock in sight
To swim or fly in quiet dignity
And cut through the patterns of need or night.
Chorus
You held my hand on my journey
and my flock called a chorus around me
Now you’ve all gone, gone, gone into Silence
Leaving me alone, alone, alone on my patterns of winter ice.
V2
Silence is a strange conundrum
It can be warm or bittersweet
I hold the silence of a friendship
turned empty as a ghost on a winter’s street
Chorus
You held my hand on my jounrey
And my flock called a chorus around me
Now you’ve all gone, gone, gone into Silence
Leaving me alone, alone, alone on my patterns of winter ice.
V3
The solitary swan is queenly
and is Strong in grace and flight
She is my mirror, my transient hope
A self sufficient loneliness
In my emerging spring time flight.
Abi's World of Music 