My last blog was all about hibernation and turning inwards when life throws you a curve ball. This one is all about aligning oneself to the flow of Qi and stepping out……
One thing that I could say is true about me is that I have always tried hard……Sometimes this has paid off but often it hasn’t! We are taught that trying hard gets us places; it shows commitment, a good work ethic, a sincerity and a resilience. This can be true but sometimes efforting may get in our way.
Those of you who have read my last blog will have read that my life kind of went a bit crumply and exhausted for awhile. I had some realisations around work and needed to step into a kind of void, to allow things to make sense again…..
I humbly learnt some things that I hope stay with me. Efforting or the way we make an effort effects the flow of possibility and energy around us. Earnestness and sheer will power are perhaps not the energies that allow things to come into being in your life. Whilst I was in the void, I allowed my grip and my efforts to relax…I had to. And something magical happened. I stopped caring or being attached to outcomes, goals, trajectories. I simply sat in the present moment allowing myself simply to be. I felt rather than decided that change had to come organically and flow towards me ; I just have to be open, have the energy of curiosity and a sense of Yes .
This has been quite profound. It sounds simple but it isn’t. Well, it is in some ways but ourselves and our conditioning get in the way. It isn’t that I don’t try anymore- I do, but in a very different way. I am not trying to force things, make stuff happen. I am allowing and yes trying to open doors to get more music teaching work into my life , but the vibe around it is different. I have stopped trying to save our situation and instead I am just honouring each day by listening inwards to what feels needs to be done that day. Some things are coming out of this gentle trying and some things are not.
However, this allowing and going with what flows seems to have a fascinating principle of return! All kinds of potentialities are bubbling up …some very left of field and unexpected. Someone I met years ago on a mentoring course popped back in to e mails and he is now being a business mentor for me to help me set up an online teaching course to teach teachers/ carers how to teach music. I am sitting back, engaging but not efforting. Two ladies from the community garden I volunteer at, announced that they love singing folk songs in harmony so now I have a tiny group who are doing just that ! I am picking up what life suggests to me with the principle of yes, I will try but let it flow out if it does not come to pass……
I am curious to see if this will extend into my songwriting journey…certainly there was a very gentle opportunity to perform two of my songs at a simple gathering at Findhorn…..and there may or may not be even a possibility of finding an instrumental collaborator…..I will see. I have not yet felt really like songwriting quite yet…..but I am sure that will bubble up as the flow lifts me up and carries me along.
I decided to share this change in dynamic and energetic approach because it might just resonate with other people too. Perhaps other folk would benefit from allowing and feeling into the principle of yes, with no attachment …just going with the flow with what life brings to you as well as initiating things from a place of gentleness and acceptance of whatever may come.
It is quite a humble, quiet place to be living from. It feels quietly grounded, slow and kind of serene. I care less, but in a good way and I am watching with quiet curiosity as to what will flow in. I am allowing and watching the flow and the turning of life and seeing where its gentle lapping takes me.
Abi's World of Music 